I’m not going to lie to you. My first thought after looking at the initial images from this photo shoot was that I’d let myself go. That I looked fat. My thighs looked jiggly. My arms not as toned as I’d like them. It was a frenzy of self hatred and an attack on my own body, my vessel on this earth for me to create, love, and move in. For someone who preaches self love, acceptance and growth as an individual, I was doing a pretty shitty job at what I’m supposed to be good at. But it’s in my initial inner mean-girl talk, then my guilt at having been mean to myself in the first place, then my scrambling to understand how I can believe in the power of self love yet attack my own body at the same time that I realized, this is all what being human is about.
We are by no means meant to be perfect creatures. We can meditate, practice, pray and work on perfecting the art of whatever it is we choose to (in my case fitness, health, authenticity, spirituality, etc.), but at the end of the day we all slip up. We all make mistakes, have to take a different approach to things, lash out when we should be loving, or screw up something we’ve done a thousand times. And its normal. What isn’t normal, is the belief that we should never allow ourselves the room to grow, room to mess up, room to change and realign, and just be raw and human and imperfect.
Whoever said we had to be these “perfectly sculpted” creatures is a jack-ass and should be fired because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I’ll take a little extra jiggle in my thighs if it means I’m loving food, feeling healthy and energetic, and have overcome my past struggles with an eating disorder (you can, too <3). I’ll take a little less tone in my arms from the sheer fact that I know training upper body isn’t my favourite so I often neglect it. I’ll take my body for what it is; a beautiful capsule of time. A place that allows me to run, jump, laugh, walk, squat, hug, kiss, love, whatever. It is my home on this earth, I fuel it well, I exercise regularily, and I try my hardest to be a productive member of society, of my family, and of my friend groups. The key word is, I try. And I know that you try, too. So right here and right now, if you feel that you need it (if not, you do you baby boo, and I’m uber proud); I GIVE YOU FULL FUCKING PERMISSION TO BE YOU. TO BE REAL. TO BE RAW. TO BE BEAUTIFULLY IMPERFECT. TO ACCEPT AND LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.
Because I love you. And I stand for you.
Never stop smiling.